February 2013 -- Personal Blog Post Pt. 3

~ People Pleaser Vs. Caring Too Much ~

In my last post, I mentioned something along the lines of that I do not want to be a people pleaser anymore, that I was a people pleaser. 

After that, I thought to myself: "No, I am not a people pleaser. A people pleaser to my me is someone who do nice things for a person to get them to like them. And sure as heck don't do that."

So it got me thinking a bit: what is the real difference?

Reading online, it says that people-pleasers on the inside are people who are afraid of rejection, feeling of not being good enough, or fear of failure among a bunch more. 

And

They appear to be: organized, encouraging, happy joyful, ready to volunteer (among many other).

Link:   http://www.livestrong.com/article/14669-people-pleasing-personality/ 

I can relate to some of what the definition of a people-pleaser is to the link above to both categories. I guess I don't like the word "people pleaser" maybe. I have been looking into people who are HSP or highly sensitive people and if I am that. Most of the sings point to yes. I have been coping with life as though I am by following some tips from the internet.

Unfortunately though, being an HSP (or easier saying "people pleaser) for thirty years with out knowing how to handle the brusings it come with, has left me feeling like most of the feeling on the list of what "people pleasers" feel on the inside. I am on a healing journey for that.

 The definition of an HSP is the same as the "appearance part" of a people pleaser. (also: people who are narsist or have pycopathic personality traits take advantage of HSP are very bad for HSP's).

 I for sure feel more comfortable with the word HSP then people pleaser because the definition of the appearance that the link gave it is exactly why i did the things for people when I did them: because I cared about them and wanted to see them genuinely be happy and OK. Not because I wanted to please them in any way because I wanted them to like me or do stuff for me. 

The word People Pleaser should be for those people: who do things so people will like them. 

The word for the rest who just like helping people because it is in their nature perhaps, should be HSP or something similar. Like the ones I made up: Ovelry Compassionate (OV), Overly Concerned (OC2), or Way To Damn Caring And You Gots To Stop (WTDCAYGTS).

So being a WTDCAYGTS is some thing i am working on being less of every second of the day.  It is a habit that I am working on breaking, it is not easy. Some would call it being a bitch. Only thinking of my self and not asking questions of others that much (unless they are my fav sis natasha ). It has felt hard and weird. I hope that it gets easier I guess, if that is possible. I realize that I have to develop my bitchy side, cause I am on full as far as being a WTDCAYGTS person.

Peace & Love,

Andrea